Peacefully Passing
Merrilee, End of Life Doula
Peacefully Passing
About Me
My name is Merrilee Vestad and I was born and raised in North Delta. I am proud to say that I have raised my children in the same house that my father had built and raised myself, and my siblings in.
My mother was diagnosed with liver cancer in late 2004, and until her death 8 months later, I was her primary caregiver. This was a very hard time. I loved my mother deeply, and she taught me much during these years, including the fact that nobody should have to die alone and that we all have a right to die with as much dignity and comfort as possible. At the time I was working at home as a daycare provider while working a couple of nights a week as a waitress., but the experience of helping my mother during her most vulnerable time tugged at my heartstrings and pulled me in a different direction.. I changed my career, at 40 years old, and became a care aide for people long-term care, people with dementia, and those in hospice.
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I now have 14+ years of experience doing this type of work. I have taken Hospice Volunteer Training and the End-of-Life Doula course at Douglas College in 2019. I am a member of the End of Life Doula Association of Canada as well as a member of Death Doula Network International. I am a happy person by nature and I am SUPER funny. At least I like to think so. I am compassionate and empathetic, and I believe being a doula is what I was put on this earth to do. I am taking my passion and all that I have learned to my business, Peacefully Passing.
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I have lost too many loved ones, and I have held their hand until their very last moments. I understand what is needed by the patient and the family at this profound time and I am happy to provide it.
1.
Your loved ones are still living! It is important to have fun, laugh and make the best of whatever time they have left.
2.
How the client feels and what the client wants is important. Autonomy is a large piece of living a dignified life.
3.
Providing holistic care means caring for both the client and the family. I will be there to support everyone to the best of my ability.
4.
Together we can work to bring as much comfort and dignity to your loved one in hopes of providing them with as much peace as possible.
5.
Passing truly can be beautiful. Death doesn't have to be, nor should it be, a scary experience.
6.
Everyone deserves quality end-of-life care, no matter one’s class, race, religion, or sexual orientation.
My Beliefs
My Goals
Comfort
make dying as comfortable as I can for the client and family members, whether we are at home, in a hospital, or in a hospice
Listen
listen intently, to the client and their loved ones, with both my eyes and my ears
Togetherness
you know your loved one the best. Let's work on a care plan together
Guidance
guide everyone through the process and explain as much as requested. I will also aid in connecting clients to other members of the care team and to any valuable resources that may be needed
Support
be there emotionally, spiritually and physically to help the client in any way possible, be it to help look after any unfinished business, simply hold a hand or lend an ear
Safety
create a safe space where we can have open and honest conversations. You are free to ask whatever questions you may have and you can be vulnerable, knowing there is absolutely NO JUDGEMENT
Be Present
be as present and involved as the client wants; this can include being a quiet, calming presence in the corner
Be Calm
bring reassurance and calmness to the room
Be Confidential
maintaining client confidentiality and autonomy is a must
What I Will and
Will Not Do
What I Will Do
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Love, laugh, and listen
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Advocate for the patient at every step
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Comfort the client and the family
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Provide a human touch, which is so important
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Value and honour the time I have with your loved one
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Offer vigils upon request
What I Will Not Do
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Judge
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Personal care (it is not within my scope of practice)
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Undermine the professional team